Pete Hoekstra is a doo-doo head (and other playground wisdom)

Pete Hoekstra took dead aim at two apparently vital constituencies with that commercial he ran during the Super Bowl:

Xenophobes, and second graders.

Xenophobes will surely appreciate the message from a Chinese-American actress who stops her bicycle alongside a rice paddy. “Your economy get very weak,” she says, in an odd mix of perfect diction and Charlie Chan sentence structure. “Ours get very good. We take your jobs.”

Second-graders, meanwhile, will appreciate the focus on Sen. Debbie Stabenow’s last name, which Hoekstra’s campaign has refashioned into “Spenditnow.” When all else fails on the playground — when you can’t make fun of a kid’s bad haircut or homely dog or weird little brother — the wise 8-year-old knows he can always fall back on a name.

Neal, Neal, Banana Peel. That’s a good one. Or Pete, Pete, White as a Sheet.

Back at Oro Grande Elementary, those came free, from the same advanced minds who decided the state of Maine in the big U.S.map on the playground had cooties because a blonde-haired girl named Debbie Mayne was overweight.

What’s alarming is that Hoekstra spent actual money for “Spenditnow,” and that in the face of massive criticism, he continues to congratulate himself on his cleverness.

Never mind that we owe more of our national debt to ourselves than anyone else, and that the reason we’re now making things in China instead of Cheboygan is that Chinese laborers will work for pennies an hour and one bathroom break a day.

What’s important to Candidate Hoekstra is that Stabenow has an odd-sounding last name. Stay tuned for his next ad, where he tells where to get your anti-Debbie cootie shots.