I cannot believe that my baby girl just graduated from kindergarten. How is it that she will now be a six-year-old first-grader?
I remember the day I found I was pregnant with her. I remember the happy tears streaming down my face when the ultrasound technician told me our baby was a girl. I remember sitting in her nursery in the early morning before I went to work, and I would rock in the rocking chair while rubbing my belly. I wondered what the journey would bring with this little someone I loved so much, yet had never met.
At the very beginning of motherhood, I was never sad when a certain stage ended. Instead, I would look forward to what was to come. Done with bottles? Let’s experiment with more real food! Done with crawling? Let’s have fun walking and climbing at the park! No more diapers? No more diaper bag — finally!!
I prided myself on this positive outlook. I figured since I couldn’t stop time, I should find joy in the present instead of mourning the past.
But something about kindergarten made it more difficult to keep this frame of mind. When my daughter started, I was an emotional mess. I couldn’t sleep. I cried over a lot of insignificant things, like Hallmark card commercials and running out of milk. I remember trying to pack her all of her fruits and vegetables in her lunch because if I couldn’t be with her, at least she would be healthy.
Being in school more than she was with me was harder than I thought. The time flew right past me, and it made it more difficult to focus on the moment. It reminded me of being on a roller coaster; you are speeding so fast that it is hard to focus on anything other than the feeling of traveling at light speed.
I am so proud of my daughter and all of the things she has accomplished this year. I am excited to see her develop into this amazing human being full of happiness, compassion, and curiosity. And instead of focusing on how fast time is slipping by, I am going to try to focus on all the wonderful things that have happened with the passage of time.
But if you see me crying because we are out of Wheat Thins or I am overemotional while watching a Folgers coffee commercial, know that I am trying to get a grip on my super fast roller coaster ride.
And I would appreciate a tissue and a hug.
Are you struggling with any milestones this summer?