Interpolanski.

This is now a manhunt. Interpol was granted a “Red Notice” (basically a warrant for arrest) for Julian Assange. The notice itself is more like two governments (or in this case 188 governments) getting together to catch someone who might try to cross a border.

And since Assange doesn’t believe that he’s a technical criminal, there’s little expectation that Assange will try to disguise himself or provide false documentation at border crossings.

As for his whereabouts, the last known sighting was in London, as he was avoiding Sweden for apparently having Sex Crimes.

For good measure, conspiracy theorists always make great news, and moreso, just a “coincidence” that the most-prolific leaker of secret documents also likes to compound his notoriety by assaulting women, which would destroy his own reputation as being a champion of whistleblowers. Obviously, Assange “doesn’t care”, being such an evil person, because he also (allegedly) rapes women with one hand, and releases damaging documents online with another.

Seriously. That’s the actual story being shopped around in Sweden and Interpol, enough to get Clive Owen authorized to capture him.

The charges were leveled in August, which if you’ve been keeping up with this self-writing novel, was right when the Afghanistan war logs were released.

It’s definitely a coincidence…right?

I mean, just a week after releasing what can be considered the most dangerous leak during any documented war, Assange decides to self-destruct, and prey upon women?

He also decides (prior to becoming the new Roman Polanski) to release an insurance file, insurance.aes256 in a folder entitled, “strawglassandbottle”, which has got to be a clue of some sort to decoding a file that we assume still cannot be decoded (even by the cats at NSA, who actually use this level of AES for our really super-secret docs).

And as careful, methodical, and smart as Assange was over all of this time, he decided to attack Swedish women, and to shove our flag into a dumpster or something evil (or French).

I think the guy is wrong about a lot of his ideas and practices, but a rapist? No.

But here we are, in the middle of Tom Clancy’s best novel ever. Since Assange can’t leave London now that Interpol has a Red Notice, an interesting choice. Will he show up in public? Will he turn himself in purposely? Will others help him escape?

And if you haven’t noticed: Julian Assange, Public Enemy #1, isn’t the only person working on Wikileaks and the State Department memos. Likely, he’s now the figurehead/advisor, disconnected from operations, and not the guy with the actual secret stuff, passkeys, or the code to the hidden nuclear bomb in his right bicuspid (why not, right?). For all the fuss the US/Interpol/World is having about one single person, you’d expect results. But this is a fishing expedition that has no fish to catch.

Ask yourself why it’s so important to catch Assange, even though he’s not the one with the data. Are we that dense to have people believe if we catch Julian Assange, he’ll be holding a big bag with “Secrets” labeled on it? Or maybe even a great big “$” sign on it as well?

Do we really expect him to pull a cool Jason Bourne at customs, beat up our Special Forces, and escape once again, only this time to leak FLOTUS’ secret recipe for oatmeal raisin cookies?

An open letter to Mr. Leonard:

I know Djibouti just came out, but what about a nice State Department/NSA/Wikileaks novel for 2012? I mean, it has to be better than the real version. Mako out.