Calm Before The Newt.

Out of 122,106 votes tallied (99.5% of all precincts) in Iowa, Mitt Romney trails Rick Santorum by 4 votes.

29,968 to 29,964.

It is 0.003275% of the vote.  Three One-Thousandths of a percent.

There are also 99 counties in Iowa, if you want to really wrap your heads around this unique mathematical quandry.

And tomorrow, pundits will wonder if anything makes sense mathematically.  Watching Charles Krauthammer struggle through an analysis of Stephen Hawking proportions was a sight to see, as well as pundits realizing that the GOP base in Iowa would equally chose someone who could win a national campaign equally with…Rick Santorum (the guy who got plowed back in 2006 in his home state 41% to 59%).

One thing struck me as I listened to the speeches of congratulation and re-evaluation.  At the end of the night, only Newt Gingrich wanted revenge.  Michele wanted to beg for a VP slot (in the same sad manner in which she begged for a win in Iowa), and Ron just kept talking about the gold standard, because his long-term goal was generational, not just 2012.  But poor Rick Perry…He looked tired.

One week now to New Hampshire, where Mitt Romney must win big, or look even weaker than he just did in Iowa (Let’s be honest, he’s not selling well, is he?).  And we’ll see how Rick Santorum reacts to the  new membership card at the Politics CostCo, where money is free, and donors generous to winners.  And, we may also revisit the reasons so many people pick on Santorum, and the media will unearth something ridiculously scandalous in due time (prolly by Thursday).

Pick up some popcorn as well, because Newt’s looking for blood.  His Iowa speech was probably the most acidic, ego-reinforcing, cry-in-whiskey-then-bash-windows speech I’ve heard in a while.  Remember, even in GOP paranoia, “They” are still out to get you.  And “They” (the other candidates’ SuperPACs) just 86′d his dream/fantasy/unicorn campaign.  I don’t think Newt’s going to play nice, and show people how ill-prepared the other candidates are on the debate stage.

It was where President George H.W. Bush looked at his watch.  It was where Al Gore bumrushed W.

If Perry drops out, he’ll be the smart one.  He can go back home and shoot animals from his golf cart.  Rick Santorum is already being Herman Cain’d as we speak, and Romney may not be in the clear just yet…because Hell hath no fury…like a Newton scorned.

Btw, the above hasty photoshop is of William Congreve, who indirectly coined the phrase of what happens when you commit a BroFoul…Mako out.