Santorum: Bringing us back from the brink

The best thing about having Rick Santorum in the race for 9resident is that he has finally helped focus the debate on the most pressing issue facing the country – moral values. After all, who better to set the moral compass of the U.S. than politicians?

In an example of how Rick is leading us in the right direction, he has taken to attacking President Obama on defunding abstinence-only education, stating:

“In fact, he (Obama) has required programs not to talk about marriage, not to talk about abstinence, if — in order to get federal funds.”“

While some may focus on the reality that none of this statement is factually accurate and point out that the Affordable Care Act, affectionately known as Obamacare, contains $110 million in grants for abstinence education, what is really important here is that Rick has us talking about the vital moral issues that are the ruin of this country.

With that being said, if you still believe that being factually accurate is paramount to making good decisions regarding the values of this country, there are plenty of facts that support Rick’s beliefs.

For instance, Rick believes that Obama is a snob for suggesting everyone should attend college. Fact – A greater percentage of high school students are virgins than college students. Much like Obama’s plan to take gun rights away this data proves that the president is trying to ruin America by forcing our young people into a culture rampant with dirty lusty sexy sex.

The good news is that another survey shows that the higher the IQ for a young person the lower the likelihood that they will have sex. So when Rick is elected president and mandates abstinence-only education, the teaching of evolution, and grants for homeschooling, we should see an immediate jump in the IQ of our students, which will of course lead to less naughty business for the kids.

This same survey also shows that 0% of students pursuing a degree in Studio Arts at Wellesley College were virgins in contrast to 83% of Chemistry and Mathematics students. Once Rick gets ahold of this information I assume he, like any good patriot, will demand an immediate end to all Studio Art programs in the U.S. Obviously Studio Art degrees are part of the larger socialist agenda being pushed by this president and must be stopped.

Thank God for Rick Santorum.