“Now, CHRISTIE! now, PALIN! now, RYAN and PORTMAN!
On, BACHMANN! on AKIN! out, DINGELL and WAXMAN!
To the top of the House! To the top of the Hall!
Now tax away! tax away! tax away all!”
As dry leaves that before the wild (unsubstantiated global warming induced) hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
So up to the Congress-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of business, and St. Mittness too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Mittness came with a bound.
He was dressed all in money, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all CostCo with cheap croissants and Kirkland Loot;
A bundle of spending he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a miser just opening his pack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his Eagleburns how merry!
His cheeks were like foundation, his nose like a Perry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the square of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a speech he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round gold pouch,
That jingled, when he laughed like a bowlful of large expensive coins.
He was stalwart and stump, a right jolly old Mormon,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of not being a Mormon;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the coffers; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the polls he rose;
He sprang to his large expensive yet domestic fake Chrysler 200, to his team gave a coded whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
HAPPY CONVENTION TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-RIGHT!
Hope you enjoyed this live-blogging goodness. Mitt is keeping it close, and maybe the base will forgive him with those planned one-liners that actually are making sense.