Obama's Gridiron guffaws

AP Photo

The annual Gridiron dinner (confessional: I’ve attended three and drawn the program for three others). Another Saturday night dinner in Washington, Another pol-media schmooze-fest. Another gig for presidential joke writers.

President Obama’s best lines of the night:

Because of sequester, they cut my tails. My joke writers have been placed on furlough . . . . There is one thing in Washington that didn’t get cut: The length of this dinner. Yet more proof that the sequester makes no sense.

You notice that some folks couldn’t make it this evening. It’s been noted that Bob Woodward sends his regrets, which Gene Sperling predicted . . . . I know that some folks think we responded to Woodward too aggressively, but hey, can anybody tell me when an administration has ever regretted picking a fight with Bob Woodward? What’s the worse that could happen?

It’s no secret that my vice president is still ambitious. But let’s face it, his age is an issue. Just the other day I had to take Joe aside and say, Joe you are way too young to be the pope.

Poking fun at Marco Rubio’s water sip: “Of course, as I begin my second term, our country is still facing enormous challenges,” the president said, taking a long sip of water. “That, Marco Rubio, is how you take a sip of water.”

On John Kerry: “Let’s face it Hillary is a tough act to follow…Frankly, though, I think it’s time for him to stop showing up at work in pant suits. It’s a disturbing image. I don’t know where he buys them. He’s a tall guy.”