Katharine Heigl embarrasses herself in “One for the Money,” a woefully inept caper-comedy in which she stars as bounty hunter Stephanie Plum. With a stunningly bad New Joizzy accent that sounds like a “Mad TV” send-up of “The Sopranos,” she haplessly fumbles through the film as it clunks through a world of crooks, fighters and prostitutes with all the conviction of a Saturday morning cartoon. It wants to be Elmore Leonard, but is like Elmore Leonard written by a pizza delivery guy. In the middle of a long shift.
Laid off from her job in the lingerie department of Macy’s, Plum tries her hand at bounty hunting and as luck would have it, her first job is to haul in Joe Morelli (Jason O’Mara), an ex-boyfriend who she once (hilariously!) ran over with her car. Funny, funny stuff! Morelli is a cop who has been framed for a shooting or something, and he helps Plum because he knows she can prove his innocence? As these two push and pull each other – she steals his car, he handcuffs her naked to her shower rod – they get along with the sort of anti-chemistry that makes you long for the classic interplay between Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler in “The Bounty Hunter.”
Directed by TV veteran Julie Anne Robinson – she did several episodes of “Grey’s Anatomy” – and based on author Janet Evanovich’s series of novels, “One for the Money” is amiss from the start and goes downhill from there. Heigl, continuing her downward trajectory, looks lost; it’s no wonder she’s recently been talking up a return to “Grey’s.” Not only does she star in this stinkbomb, but she produced it, along with her mother. The movie’s final line, “Plus, I’m not gonna say no to a cupcake,” tells you everything you need to know about it. This is a cupcake to which you’ll have no problem saying no. GRADE: D-